About a month prior to Thanksgiving is the closest we can come.
I knew nothing of Zoom and we were using it in its default configuration. We needed to join a family videoconference and at the time I wasn’t even aware that an app had to be installed, so it was just get it installed and go. It was certainly not configured to allow remote control.
Since that time we use my MacBook Pro and I insure the application is immediately quit after the videoconference.
Notification was probably via BitDefender or Netgear Armor which we have on our Orbi RBK853 mesh. It was unreasonably late at night - I was the only one awake - and it was pure good fortune that I was at my computer to receive the alert.
Zoom is certainly not in my bag of trusted apps, and if I could get the half dozen or so members of my wife’s not-too-technically-adept family to use something I trusted more I would certainly do it.
Unfortunately the controling parameters seem to be not too hard to use, windows compatible, and free.