Mail not syncing between devices

My wife is having some Mail issues and before I start down a long rathole of trying to figure it out I figured I would check and see if somebody has already solved this problem.

She’s running an MBA with Big Sur and iPhone XS and iPad Air 4th gen…everything is up to date os on all devices and she’s signed into the same iCloud and mail accounts on all devices.

Her problem is that she reads her mail almost exclusively on her iPad but the ones that are now marked read don’t properly sync to her iPhone. If she reads on iPad it doesn’t sync to the phone…if she reads it on the iPhone it does properly sync as read back to the iPad. I’ve checked the settings on her iPhone as compared to the settings on mine and all seem to match…and I do not have the same issue as she does.

My original thought was to just delete the main mail account in our family domain from her iPhone and then recreate it…but as the settings appear to be the same as my iPhone XS Mac also up to date I’m not sure that will do any good…but in the absence of any smarter idea will probably try that.

Her complaint is that the mail on the phone doesn’t stay in sync with her iPad…and she frequently keeps read mail in her inbox for later action and some of the get set back to Unread on the iPad…and naturally as the head of the family IT department it’s clearly my fault.

Thanks…hoping someone has some good advice because as we all know…happy wife and all that…

Yes this happens to me a lot, on Mojave though. Reads and deletions on one device do not always sync with viewing the same account on another device. Possibly the changes made are not being properly sent to the IMAP server, or the other device isn’t refreshing, under some conditions? IDK. I hate IMAP!

Dana…thanks. Strange that it isn’t happening to me but only her and our mail accounts and devices are pretty much configured the same except for minor stuff like account name and password. Hopefully somebody will have another solution.

Having the same problem with both my iPhone (14.3) and my 2012 Mini (Mojave) ever since I replaced my old MacBook Air (also Mojave) with a new M1 (Big Sur).

It’s been happening for her through Catalina and Mojave as well (at least I think it happened under Mojave and she can’t remember specifically) and through at least 2 major versions of iOS and iPad OS. I always upgrade my iOS devices about a week after release of the new iOS and my laptop maybe a month later…and then hers get upgraded after I have no problems.

The strange thing is that it’s only happening to he…and having set up all of her devices they’re setup the same as mine are and I’m having no problem with it.

Have you checked what the “ground truth” says? You can log onto the iCloud web interface and check there. Is it the manipulations she does on her iPad that don’t make it to the server or is her other clients not updating to the server’s recently modified state?

I have…but it’s not iCloud mail that is the problem. We have our own domain that we use and the Mail preferences should sync between devices based on the iCloud account…but even if they don’t the IMAP mailboxes should be syncing correctly. She has a iCloud email obviously…but it is set to forward to her main mail account and she doesn’t check the iCloud mailbox at all. The basic problem is that inbox contents… outlying the Read or Unread…doesn’t sync to the phone…but it’s something strange since my essentially equivalent personal domain mailboxes sync as they should and her iPhone, iPad, and laptop are set up in identical (except for account particulars) to mine…which works fine. Back in the day…I ran my own send mail server at home and we didn’t have this problem.

I think I will nuke the account info on her iPhone no rebiold the account there…as that seems to be the mail problem.