That reminds me of a (bitter) experience several years ago. I had similar problems with an old iPhone. Took it to Apple and they said that the contacts were damaged and it could not be repaired. I ended up buying a new phone.
The main damage probably resulted from years of sitting the phone in a Belkin car cradle with built-in Lightning plug. This meant the port was under physical loads that it was not designed for. I now use a cradle with a loose Lighting cable (works with Carplay).
I should have mentioned this in a previous post - but the subsequent discussion has been very interesting and useful.
In my case, the phone has not had much severe use. It’s in very good condition and I’ve only charged it at home with the Apple cable from an Apple wall charger. Could be wear, could be a defect.
I don’t think it applies to your case, but I’ve had an iPad that also wasn’t recognised (I suspect the USB port of my Macbook Air is a bit worn out, as the iPad was relatively new). But I could get the iPad recognised if I connected first a keyboard to the Mac, and then the iPad to the keyboard.