Family Sharing can only use one debit card?

TidBITS Talk
1

So my wife and I decided to use Family Sharing to make sure we can download each other’s music and books without having to resort to copying files in the Finder over the network.

Turns out now I get an email each time she makes a purchase (for some reason she doesn’t get mine though). Better yet, her purchases don’t get charged to her debit card, but instead to mine.

Since mine recently expired and I got a new one her iPhone wouldn’t let her purchase anything without her updating my CVV to her iPhone. WTH? She was traveling across two other continents and was frantically trying to get it to update to using her card. No dice. She was blocked from purchasing anything at all until she got back and we pieced together that it must be related to my new card (of which she of course knew nothing). I then had to punch my new CVV into her iPhone (twice actually, because of course the first time it didn’t work—did MS code this for Apple?).

Is this baloney really how it’s supposed to work? I get that for children you’d want to some additional oversight, but for couples, what the heck? Her card worked just fine. But Apple threw it out and now expects her to know when I get a new card and get my CVV from me whenever that happens (every 2 years minimum). I thought Apple was trying to appear all progressive and modern. But here they are asking for a Don Draper style head of household to approve his spouse’s purchases. Hold on, I think the 1950s just called…

2

The main point of Family Sharing is the use of a single card. The only way to allow the use of her card would have been for you to drop her from Family Sharing temporarily.

3

It’s definitely true that my card makes all family purchases. There aren’t many; but, when they happen, I get the email. I’m fine with that. I prefer it this way. My wife wouldn’t care either way - we have the same credit cards anyway.

I seem to recall that when you set up the family that it tells you that this is the behavior, but I did sign up a few years ago.

Here is the Apple support page. It does say that it tells you this about purchase sharing being on one credit card. https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201088

So, that’s only if you turn on purchase sharing. You can turn that off if you want to. On an iOS device, Settings, the top Apple ID section, Family Sharing. From here you can turn off purchase sharing and your wife can use her own credit card.

4

So if we now turn off family sharing, does she retain ownership of her purchases or are those now linked to my account because they were paid for by my debit card?

5

I haven’t ever turned off purchase sharing, but all of my wife’s and our kids’ purchases remain listed as their purchases in the App Store.

t shouldn’t be all that difficult to find out, Turn off purchase sharing when you are not in a situation when your wife is traveling and see what happens. You can always turn purchase sharing back on.

All that I think you’ll lose is the ability to install apps that each other purchase without purchasing again. But that doesn’t work for apps with in-app purchases anyway, and most apps aren’t all that expensive. If having separate credit cards and/or debit cards is more importand than saving a few bucks on a few apps, then you will know what’s right for you.