manually, only.
Itās interesting to see how other users handle updates. I personally hate them, and would be using a much older OS if my software didnāt force me. I recently updated from Catalina to Monterey and have decided I want to revert. Theyāve badly screwed up Mail, and it isnāt stable for me, in any event. I think Apple tried to make the desktop work like a phone, which totally pisses me off. Not a happy camper!
I cannot install system updates until and if I get a new computer. I have a Mac Pro (Late 2013). I could update my wifeās and my MacBook Pro (late 2013) but I donāt want to be out of synch and I only use my MacBook Pro to read, check up on things in the evening.
I update as soon as they are available. I also run all the betas. Iāve never had any catastrophic issues, any issues I did run into were never game stoppers and I was either able to resolve on my own or they resolved in the next update. Been doing it this way for about 24 years now. (Of course I just jinxed myself.)
Iām not sure if my choices would even be counted as both my iMac and my MacBook Pro are supposedly maxed out at 10.13.6 and 12.7.2 respectively.
On the iMac, I donāt even have a āSoftware Updateā option in System Preferences and the MAS doesnāt show any options to check.
On the MBP, I USED to have the first and the last options checked but when I learned that even those who had the first option checked but the middle three NOT checked were having unwanted updates forced on them, I UNCHECKED the āCheck for updatesā option just to be on the safe side.
As for the other questions, since I donāt have either MacOS 13 or 14, they wouldnāt apply to me, I figure.
There should also always be a āNone of the aboveā option for each question to give you a TRULY ACCURATE sampling.
I didnāt think I had all of the options set to āautomaticallyā until I checked while reading the article. I had thought my Mac was set to only check for updates & install security responses. But what was even more surprising to me was that while all were set to āautomaticallyā, System Settings showed there was an update available. Despite everything set to āautomaticallyā, updates were not being downloaded automatically. Another one of lifeās little mysteries.
Even so, Iām going to adjust the settings, I prefer to have control over when updates are downloaded & installed. I normally take my cues from TidBITs articles.
Like the recent one called āSonomaā? 
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I have them all checked, but none update automatically, so I have the equivalent of none checked.
I usually wait to update until Tidbits says it is OK.
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Yes, but the wording of that option leaves the door open for other kinds of updates.
As I said, if I could turn on only the XProtect updates and leave off whatever other updates Apple may decide should be included in that option, I would. But the lack of notice and detail with the current update process means that if Apple did throw something more substantial into such an update, I wouldnāt know they had done so.
I donāt understand whatās so hard to accept about the fact that I want to know when something is being updated, regardless of what it is, and I donāt like that Apple wants to be able to do any updates without any notice. Apple doesnāt even provide an in-OS mechanism for looking back to see when such updates were installed, unless itās hidden in some log somewhere. Iām a '70s and '80s computer child, and I want to be able to know whatās going on with my systems.
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This is my approach as well. Hopefully by the time I make the macOS upgrade, Apple has sorted out the bugs and interface and connectivity issues.
I wait until TidBITs confirms updates are OK before I install them on all the OSs! TidBITs is incredibly important. Also, the more ābuzzā there is about and OS, the less likely I will use it.
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Yes, 70s 80s computer person. First computer I used was in 1964, 8 bitā¦ blinking lights and oscilloscopes.
That didnāt work for Catalina for me ā never saw TidBITS say it was ok. So I skipped it, and went directly to the next (Big Sur), trying to avoid reported (and never declared repaired) Catalina email losses. Unfortunately unbeknownst to me, it appears that the āsmoothā transition of my music library from iTunes to Music didnāt occur without first applying the Catalina upgrade, and much of my arduously scanned CD library was not included. āImportingā it later still resulted in horribly screwed up metadata and album images which remain to this day.
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Another outlier here, my two Macs are still running OS10.15 and quite happy about it. I only update when thereās an actual needāusually forced by some piece of software. Of course, the Macs themselves are 5-10 years old anyway. I do real work on these machines, day in and day out, and keeping up with OS changes holds no attraction as long as things are running smoothly. Wish I could turn off updates on Firefox and Thunderbird as well!
Thanks to the survival of Tidbits, I can still get a few words of advice on the new systems both before and after they come out. I read them carefully. I canāt remember the last time I felt any urgency to upgrade to the next system, so I usually take my time. Apple has utterly failed in coming up with compelling new features for many years, and often frustrated me by taking away features I love. I have a couple of old Macs with old systems I can turn on if I need them. But in the end, I always upgrade unless I need a new machine, then I wait to get the new machine.
Unfortunately, even seemingly trivial updates to such configuration data can have terrible consequences. You may remember, with great fondness and mirth, that time Apple accidentally blacklisted its own Ethernet drivers, automatically disconnecting some Macs that were connected to the network via Ethernet on the next boot (including headless Mac Minis).
Also, note that the wording is not vague: that last control is actually controlling two preferences internally, one for data (configuration) files and one for critical hotfixes. Examples of the latter in the past have included fixes for ntpd and bash, which would have been disasters for Macs running as servers on the Internet.
Time is precious, and you can only fight upgrades for so long. And, realistically, itās not very long at all because of the many changes between releases which app developers and their SDKs and tools (including Xcode) rely on. And then thereās security fix disparities between the releases, and Appleās general ādeprecationā of anything older than, say, five minutes when interoperating with their other products and services. Though I really hate to say it, itās a losing battle to maintain control beyond a very short window of convenience, and any effort you put in to staying put with what you have will more than be wiped out by the pain and trouble of not having the latest.
So just upgrade already. 
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I install updates of all kinds as soon as they become available, unless Iām slow and the auto-update during night time has beaten me to it.
I think most users let Apple install updates without their knowing i.e. automatic updates. Then they complain when āsomethingās wrong with the computerā, because they happened to want to do something when the computer was updating and have no clue that itās doing that.
To me the real question is ādo you permit automatic updatesā. If you do, youāre an amateur computer user.
Personally, I update when notified except for system installs. Those I let wait a week or so and see what the geek universe is reporting about bugs.
Iām usually guided by TidBits on major upgrades, BUT I found that all my upgrade boxes were ticked when I looked (the first time for a while)(have now unticked automatic upgrades). Iāve allowed the updates to download but not allowed the final step until the coast seems clear.