Interesting! What about the version you got on Messages on the Mac? If the results were reversed (small on the iPhone, large on the iPad), I might have suggested that it was trying to save bandwidth via cellular.
Looks like a preview file was downloaded on the iPad and Mac, like an animated icon, much like a finder window will let you play the icon of a video file.
Could it be that one device received the file via cellular connection and the other via WiFi? Or via Messages using a phone number vs Messages using an email address?
Alas that’s not the case… at least I don’t think so. When I ask my correspondents to send the photo or video as an iCloud link, then everything downloads correctly.
Thanks for trying but “none of the above” is true. Please do see my response above to Tommy Weir, that when my correspondents send the photo/video as an iCloud link, then everything downloads properly on all my “iToys”.