Strategy for sharing contacts?

I want to share contacts with my wife. But we each also have our own circle of friends whose information we don’t want to share (not secret, just clutter). How do others handle this? Can it be done in vanilla “Contacts”? Does an add-on app like CardHop make it easier? Solution should work on both MacOS and iOS, and either of us should be able to create/update/delete shared contacts.

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You can set up a joint Apple ID and use it for shared contacts and calendars.
Use your separate Apple IDs for your own contacts and calendar info.

David

Can someone be logged into two Apple IDs at the same time? In other words, how would the OP and wife avoid logging out and in repeatedly?

If I understand your situation, I would suggest using Groups in vanilla Contacts: one group for you, one group for wife, one group for shared.

I don’t think I’m logged into either. Contacts and calendars show up under both ids on my mac

I haven’t tried it but System Preferences > Internet Accounts shows you can add more than one iCloud account. You can also add more than one within macOS Contacts preferences, it’s “just” another CardDAV server; elsewhere in Preferences you select a default account.

Also, iCloud Contacts are usable in a web browser.

Not two Apple IDs at the same time, but I am logged in to my Apple ID and also to an iCloud account. So, for the purposes of sharing contacts as suggested, yes you can be logged in to multiple iCloud accounts.

You don’t have to use Apple ID. You could share a different internet account — Google, Yahoo, AOL, etc — and keep your Apple IDs separate.

See Contacts Help to set up multiple accounts.