Afraid not. I had tried that before with my mom to no avail.
The trouble here is, ‘even’ a child or someone under Parental Control has their own Apple ID associated with their own email address. Which Apple ID will always receive 2fa notifications (with map!) on all their trusted devices.
The best I could manage was ask my mom to ignore 2fa notifications on any of her iToys, since I’ll be dealing with them anyway. About which she was only too happy 
Oh god, I don’t know! It’s hard to see the bigger picture. Perhaps the thing is, the way it is now ensures that at least one device that you actually own and thereby also can have in your possession is a trusted device for our Apple ID, making it harder to loose control over the Apple ID. But I agree, there should be some way to solve this situation for people with cognitive problems.
This whole discussion is a perfect example of how valuable TidBits is! As a retired pastor I have used the collective advice from this great website to provide resources to a lot of people.
Thank you all for this really important service! And than you TidBits, Adam and staff!
Cognitive decline is one of the most feared medical problems. I’m sorry to hear that your mother and her family have to deal with this issue. People of offered some really excellent tech specific suggestions. I’m going to offer some higher level ones. First, of course confirm the diagnosis and try to get a specific type if possible so you can know what to expect. Second, if your mother can operate tech at this point by the latest and greatest highest tech that she can operate whether that’s a Mac or an iPad. The reason is you don’t ever want to have to upgrade her computer/iPad or even her operating system again. If she does have dementia, it sounds like she didn’t used to have it and now she does, which suggests that it’s probably progressive. You don’t want her to have to learn new things. So maximize her tech now so that you don’t have to change things in the future. or you can at least minimize the changes.
Yes! Good advice. Her almost brand new MBA is pretty maxed out, will never be a problem. If we go with an iPad instead, we won’t skimp anyway, even though maxed out proved to be a bit over optimistic on my part. (I coached her from abroad, not realizing how much she was cognitively impacted.)
The jump from pre Mojave (on her ancient MBP) to Monterey proved also to be a big challenge for her. Another, very important reason for non techies to turn on auto update for OS update, and never look back.
It is not surprising that the multiple version OS upgrade was a big challenge, because learning new features and user interfaces can be a challenge. For this reason, it is worth considering no OS version upgrades with auto updates for the point versions. Each version upgrade has potential to introduce features and user interfaces that will challenge your mom.
Good luck to your mom, and I hope that you can structure a safe environment for her.
Or Owen and/or his brother could do what I’ve always done for both my parents, provided his brother doesn’t live far from their mom:
I disabled auto updates on their ‘iToys’ and always install(ed) the updates myself when I’m visiting. Which also allows me to wait a week or so after each new OS update is issued, in case they came with bugs. (Surely @ace can appreciate the fact that I take his advice to heart!)
Moreover (and I hope this doesn’t prove a sensory overload for poor Owen), under Screen Time / Content & Privacy Restrictions, I even disabled Install apps / Delete apps / In-App Purchase, but Always Require Password for additional purchases. (For which restrictions I had to set a passcode unknown to my parents…)
Unfortunately, such a high level of restrictions also means that I have to install app updates for them myself, instead of ‘easy’ auto updates.
But at least there would be no risk of ‘undesirable’ purchases that could really add up and big time. (Didn’t some kid rack up a $1K+ bill in Fortnite or some other game on his mom’s iPhone some years ago?!)
Last but not least, there are really very few apps that my mom actually needs and uses on her iToys. So if you also restrict the apps (under Screen Time / Content & Privacy Restrictions / Allowed Apps), the whole enterprise may well be far more manageable.
Once again, HTH and Bon courage!
Great advice, could work for us. But one question: having Mom join a family account be an easier solution?
Yikes, I’m so glad you asked, coz it sure seems a distinct possibility, though I haven’t been able to test it out (or I should say I tried but haven’t succeeded yet…)
To back track a bit, if you mean “Family Sharing” (iCloud storage, apps, music, etc.), indeed all of my parents’ iToys are on my family sharing plan.
But it never occurred to me to ‘control’ their app use and purchases under Family Sharing, by setting them up as ‘children’.
Instead, I have their Apple IDs set up as bona-fide Adults under my Family Sharing plan:
However, I did set all their media and purchases to my Apple ID from the get go, i.e., they wouldn’t even be able to download any apps let alone make any in-app purchases, unless they could access the App Store and iTunes using my Apple ID.
Having said that, I just went into Family Sharing/Ask to Buy/Create an Account for a Child as follows:
NB in the next step, “…until the child is at least 13 years old.” (I’ve no idea what happens when the child does hit 13, or when a Child Account is set up for someone older…)
But for some reason I couldn’t get through this next screen despite entering all the correct info 
:
Instead I keep getting an error message, asking me to try again later… 
Perhaps you or someone else might have better luck and could share your experience there?
In any case, that particular “Ask To Buy” option under Family Sharing certainly seems promising for us here🤞
———————-
Separately regarding cellular plan, as opposed to Family Sharing @ Apple. My parents’ iPhones used to be on my cellular plan, until T-mo offered the 55+ Unlimited everything plan at $60/month for 2 lines on auto-pay. (I believe it has gone up to $70 but still an excellent deal.)
I sure hope all this isn’t unnecessarily complicated. I figured that if it helps even just one person, it’ll be worth it!
That’s great eccoparis! So good that you’re sharing the screenshots and documenting the process. Only today I read up a bit on Family Sharing, probably the way to go.
Hmm, bummer. Do you have your credit/debit card locked for internet purchases? You can do that in Sweden easily in the bank app, don’t know how it is here.
This is a bit off topic, if it rouses interest it should perhaps be broken out as a new thread (I’ll report it). But since you mentioned it:
My mom seems to pay $38.68/mo for unlimited minutes/texts, 3gb data, 1 line, with Consumer Cellular. She gets a slight discount ($1.50/mo I think) as a member of AARP.
As far as I know, I haven’t locked my CC for online purchases. In fact I do it all the time sans problème !
However… providing CC info for credit verification purposes (which is the case here) may actually fall under “credit inquiry” or some such thing. And since I do have a credit freeze at all three credit bureaus, namely Trans Union, Experian and Equifax, this may explain the failure.
Oh well…
I just want to report back that I successfully made my iPhone a “trusted device” for my mother Apple ID, by following @ddmiller 's clear instructions:
Once your device is trusted, you can choose which if any of the iCloud features to show on your device (ie: Mail, Notes, Calendar and/or Reminders). Very simple and straightforward. And when Mom gets a 2fa notice (with map 
), I get it now at exactly the same time.
But read the advice carefully to avoid unnecessary work and stress:
The process is simple "if the Apple ID is an iCloud email account. Unfortunately, even though Moms Apple ID is an iCloud mail account I read too quickly, thinking I needed to log out of my account. When you do that, your iCloud Mail, Notes, Calendar and Reminder get removed from your device. That was stressful! (Who knows what catastrophe might happen!) Thankfully, when I realised my mistake and added my iCloud account back, everything came back, even though it took a while (an hour?!? 10 minutes?!? Blinded by panic…) for Notes, which wasn’t fun. After that, I started over and followed the instructions correctly.
So: Best to always read carefully, even if you think you know what you’re doing!
Congrats, you did it!
I tried turning Family Sharing on and adding my mother, on my Mac. I had the same problem as you, the cvv code was rejected. With no explanation. I finally got it to work (sort of by chance, but below I’ve written how to do it when you know what to do):
I did two things:
Maybe that would work for you?
I haven’t seen any info that Apple IDs need to be the same in order to use Family Sharing. That’s pretty bad, since Apple still doesn’t provide any way to merge Apple IDs.
Sadly, I couldn’t add Mom to my Family Sharing family because she and I live in different countries, so that’s not going to work for me, with her. This is actually not surprising I guess, but I’ve read up pretty good and haven’t found this information anywhere, so it was irritating.
I wonder if the Tidbits gang is aware of this? Ping @ace .
Actually I had no trouble adding my mother to my Family Sharing (as an adult), which she already was.
It was when I tried to set up an account for a child (for the Ask To Buy further under Family Sharing), that Apple wouldn’t let me get past the credit/debit card verification.
Meanwhile, just like you, I have more than one Apple ID, one @icloud (which I use for Family Sharing) and the other non-icloud for “Media & Purchases”.
So
As you suggested, I signed out of the non-icloud Apple ID (for Media & Purchases), but without even signing into the other Apple ID (@icloud for Family Sharing).
Then I went into Family Sharing/Ask to Buy, and was able to set up a new Apple ID for a child, because suddenly Apple accepted my credit card!
The caveat there, however, is that Apple only lets you enter the child’s birthdate going as far back as 4 September 2009 as of today, i.e., this child would be 13 today.
So I made up a fictitious child whom I named… “Fictitious”, and did manage to set up a separate Apple ID for “Fictitious” with a new email address.
I now have a child “Fictitious” who has their own Apple ID, but who cannot make any purchases without my authorization. Exactly the function of “Ask To Buy”.
When I signed back into my non-icloud Apple ID for Media & Purchases, the same “Ask To Buy” still holds for “Fictitious”.
Thus it would seem that if you use multiple Apple IDs, the trick is to sign out of the Apple ID for Media & Purchases, then enter the credit card credentials.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I used to live in France (whence @eccparis) and I needed a different Apple ID to do anything stateside. And when I moved back to the US some 10 years ago, I couldn’t merge the two Apple IDs, either.
All in all,
Ask To Buy would work only for a child up to 13 years of age.
Even if you were able to add your mom to your Family Sharing, the only way to control her purchases would be if all her purchases were/are made under your Apple ID — to which she has no access…
(Which brings up yet another question, what about all the apps and media… that she had bought under her own Apple ID??? Help!)
That was smart, to just sign out, without signing in.
Having your child named Fictitious was smart, but I I understand it, they won’t be able to keep the apps they acquire (even if you pay, they stay with their account) when they want to “leave the group” and also have an Apple ID in their own name.
When you leave the group — all the apps purchased by you (even though they were paid by group’s Organizer) stay with you, whereas anything purchased by other members will remain installed but inactive until you pay for it
A complete guide to Apple Family Sharing – Setapp
That wasn’t my experience though. I reset my mother’s age to 14 years old, in the Apple ID settings on her computer, and she was (eventually, as I explained above) accepted for Ask To Buy, up until the very last step, when she was rejected for not living in the same country as me.
It’s my understanding that one can simply send an invitation to (or add in yourself if you know the details) a child/person who already has an Apple ID and is between 13-18 years old to one’s Family Sharing group in the group settings.
But if you have a child under 13 who doesn’t already have an Apple ID, then you have the option to create an Apple ID for them from within the Family Sharing settings.
Child or teen: A member of the Family Sharing group under the age of 18. The organizer, parent, or guardian can create an Apple ID for a child who is too young to create their own. See the Apple Support article Create an Apple ID for your child.
Types of Family Sharing members - Apple Support
Ah, that explains it. My… virtual child “Fictitious” — who was younger than 13 (at least as of yesterday) — didn’t have an Apple ID yet. Thus I had to create everything about ‘them’ from nothing!
In any case thank you so much for sharing how you had actually made your mom much younger, in order to have her join your Family Sharing. Which method will probably come in very handy for my mom and me at some point. I’m just sorry that it didn’t work out for you due to the Sweden-US ‘dichotomy’.
