Apple Music limits and problems

since I upgraded my iMac 27" Catalina with my iTunes library on an external drive which has not been a problem ever - I suddenly had over 200K items in my library and several thousand playlists - I was told that because I had over 100K items in my library that upgrading to Catalina caused problems and only a reset of the iCloud music library and re import of all personal music would be required - initially I was told that Apple Music and purchases did not count against this arbitrary 100K limit - I later learned that apple music does count against that limit and I needed to reduce my library to under 100K - when it was now over 200K - with a couple thousand playlists created by Catalina I could not open or use iTunes or the music app at all - spinning beach ball limited interaction requiring a force quit - relaunch as the only app even in a quest account showed the same behavior - I waited for engineers to reset my iCloud music library for over 3 months - I finally decided to downgrade to Mojave and was able to reduce my library to under 100K altho the playlists created by Catalina are not removable - if I remove ten or so and try to save the changes to iCloud I get the spinning beach ball requiring force quit - there also seems to be an issue with genius updates - it repeatedly does the genius update before iCloud and so when it says genius lost the connection to the server and could not be updated the in some way affects iCloud updates and so I have been stopped from using the music app or iTunes on my Macs - my iPhone will shuffle my library as do my two Apple TVs but the playlists are there and cannot be removed - the 2nd tier agent who has demanded that I stay with her till resolution now going on 4 months thinks that updating to Catalina again might fix the issue when its clear that the issue is in iCloud music library and needs to be fixed from the back end not the front - anyone have any issues like this and or any ideas on how to fix it - turning off genius is not available from the file menu on the Macs so cannot test if that would make any difference - thanks in advance for any replies!